Perspective of the Lovers
by shellcole7
Summary: The running perspectives of Buffy and Spike through out their somewhat relationship. Rated M for later chapters. Hope you enjoy!
1. The Awakening of Buffy Summers

This is my first fic ever, please enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss, I just manipulate it

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_God I can't believe that overly bleached moron! _Buffy thought as she trudged toward Spike's crypt, stake in hand. He had gone a little too far this time. As if finding (and cleaning up) cigarette butts beside her tree every morning didn't constitute slight wiggins, his "sensitive" note that he had buried under the fall leaves for her to find was too much. She was lucky that Dawn or one of the Scoobies hadn't found it first. _Stupid, careless vampire. _Buffy fumed as she weaved through the countless headstones in her way.

_-Earlier that morning-_

Buffy yawned as the sun shone through her window. Her eyes fluttered open to greet the new day, one of which she was sure would bring some sort of danger. As per usual, her thoughts immediately went to Spike. The clear image of his perfectly chiseled chest hovering over her as his gaze meets hers, filled with lust and desire claws its way to her focus. A slight smile crossed her lips for a split second before she shook it away.

_Bad Buffy, _she silently scolded herself. _You cannot think of Spike like that! _She made her signature 'yuck' face as she crawled out of bed. Her thoughts landed back on the bleached vamp when she remembered the pile of cigarette butts that would most likely be sitting in front of the sycamore on her lawn.

Rummaging through her closet, Buffy grabbed a long sleeved red shirt and threw on a pair of jeans. Her groggy brain led her feet to the base of the rooted giant. The cool autumn air was coupled with golden brown leaves littering the ground all around her. She noticed the faint smell of charred cigarettes still lingering around the area where Spike would stand every night without fail. Buffy had tried to convince herself that he was there to protect her, standing watch valiantly against any baddies that might cross him. A small voice in the back of her mind would always tell her otherwise.

The cleanup session began as she riffled around in the leaves, searching for the cast away ends of poison left behind her lover. _Lover…has a nice ring to it. _The smirk from earlier crossed her lips yet again, only disappearing when her eyes fell upon a stray piece of paper, folded in half and baring a name written in a calligraphic style; Slayer. Buffy rolled her eyes as she opened up the small note.

_Slayer,_

_I see it fit to express my actual feelings for you. Love, you are the most extraordinary human I've ever been around. Whenever I met Dru I thought, hell this is it. This is my girl, forever. Sadly enough she didn't give a damn about me, she just needed a play thing. You though, you have fire. The passion that you radiate is beyond any poetic sense. I've been in awe of you since the day we locked eyes, even when soddin Angelus tried to destroy the world and you along with it. It's why I sought you out from then on. I didn't care if you hated me or took a liking to me I just wanted to be around you, pet. And now that I have you in the most intimate way possible, I want to be around you all the time. Just to be in your presence is glorious. I want to make you feel, every second of every day. You're my sweet perfection, love._

_Yours, Spike _

The fact that she was totally taken aback was no surprise, what shocked her was that she actually had butterflies in her stomach. _This cannot be happening._


	2. Tales From the Crypt

I'm still in the process of writing this, I'm planning on putting up a new chapter every day if I can get around to writing that much. Please review!

Disclaimer: As always, Joss made the characters I just mess with plot lines.

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Though it was the middle of the day, cool air still lingered in Spikes crypt from the previous night. As per usual, the daily soap opera was blaring from his small television on the top level of his home. He was down in his makeshift basement getting his fill of blood from the mini fridge he had Clem install after the Initiative put the chip in his brain. While he drank his O negative, he strolled around the tiny stomping ground. Countless memories had been made in that home sweet home.

The most prominent of all those memories had to do with chains and two women, one of whom he loved. _The love of my unlife,_ he thought as he chuckled to himself while swirling his blood around in the jar. That memory floated through the air and planted itself deep inside Spikes mind, letting him vividly relive it.

He saw a groggy, limp Buffy dangling from the shackles that held her upright. To his left, a lucid Dru was tied up to a support beam. Spike was calm and collected until he took one look at his slayer. Her golden hair water falling over her face, falling aside as she raised her head and met his gaze with her big brown eyes was too much for him. Regardless of what she thought, he knew her better than anyone else. He also knew that she wouldn't mind being tied up for a while, because she was safe. Oh, she knew she was safe. As much as Spike had lusted after her, that wasn't what this was about. Yet another thing that she knew, he could see it in her eyes. Every expression could be easily decoded by him.

Her awakening was shortly followed by an outburst of pent up energy from sleeping beauty. Drusilla fretted at her uncomfortable position and rambled on about the voices telling her that the dollies were in trouble. Spike ignored her incoherent drabbles and focused on a wild eyed Buffy. It appeared that her animalistic, possibly slayer, instincts were kicking in as she fought the chains without result. He smirked at her before beginning his extensive dialect regarding his love for her. All the while he watched her, even though her words expressed disgust her eyes burned with passion. He had long since memorized that look.

Spike sat back down in the love seat to watch his shows. His small flashbacks continued throughout the next half hour. Strolls down memory lane eventually led him to the previous night. _You stupid ponce,_ he sighed, silently scolding himself. The attempt to pull from his days as William the poet had most likely failed; Buffy didn't seem like one to go for the poetic types.

But Spike was more than just poetic, and he knew it. He was passionate and rough; even though he could be sweet he wasn't afraid to shy away from the truth. He was refreshingly blunt and he knew that she saw it too, she had to.

His eyes shot open as he was ripped from his thoughts. He sensed it before it actually happened.

The door to his crypt burst open as if an explosion had occurred just outside. His newly repaired hinges caused the door to bounce back, right back into the palm of the girl who had forced it open. Sunlight poured into the dark, dank space but the position of the chair prevented the rays from burning Spike. The blond vamp smirked at the sight in front of him.

"Woah there pet, better be careful. The sunlight can be a real beastie when it comes to my kind," Spike drawled out.

Buffy threw the crumpled up note Spikes way. "What the hell is this Spike?"

"Ah, I see you got my note. What do you think, luv?" He smirked. He didn't have time to think before she was right in front of him, fists flying and sending him into a wall. When his daze cleared, he realized she was pressed up against him, stake to his chest and all.

"What do you think would have happened if Dawn or Willow had found that? If I didn't know about your sick obsession and that gaudy pile of left over cigarettes that I clean up every day? Just one more mess of yours I have to deal with," she hissed, jabbing the stake a bit harder to Spikes chest. With her last sentence, he felt his arousal start to grow. _Good going you ponce, now you'vedone it. _He squirmed back up against the wall to try to put distance between him and the fiery girl, but she just pushed her body closer, closing the gap. Spike winced, feeling the pressure of the stake fall away.

"No intentions to kill me then, eh?" Her hot breath hitting his skin caused him to groan out the last few words.

"Not exactly_ kill_ you, more like mercilessly torture you," she sneered as she palmed his growing erection through his leather clad pants. _I have a bad feeling about this. _His eyelids fluttered closed and his jaw fell open when he felt her small hand touch him.

"Now now pet," he drawled as his breath hitched in his throat, "let's not get ahead of ourselves."

"From what I can tell you're not at all opposed to this," she cooed out, "what, did you think that your little letter would go unnoticed? That I wouldn't act on the way you make me feel?" Buffy nipped at his neck lightly and let her hands explore his body. _Oh god,_ he thought, _she's so good at this._

"Buffy," Spike groaned as she worked the button and zipper on his pants, working to free him from the constricting fabric. Her hands worked quickly and soon the fabric was pooled at his ankles, a new layer forming a large tent.

"What do you want Spike?" she voiced in a breathy tone while her lips caressed his neck. She had just begun to work his shirt off, running her hands over her toned torso.

"I want you, pet. Always you," his voice trailed off as he felt her clasp his erection. Her lips closed in on his. She pressed up against him harder, deepening the kiss and biting his lip. Spike growled and finally dared to grab her, planting his hands firmly on her waist and pulling her closer than he thought possible. _God I just want to feel her, hold her. Be inside of her and continue to blow her mind in ways that she can't…_his thoughts were cut off by the sudden absence of his lover. His eyes flew open, shooting a baffled expression at the fully clothed blonde. She smirked right back at him.

"Next time you feel like making a gesture, make it a bit less public. We may or may not continue this later," Buffy scoffed as she strode out of the crypt, leaving behind a very hot and bothered Spike.


	3. Behind Her Eyes

Spike is an idiot. What the _hell_ does he think he's doing? Leaving romantic notes for me, fine maybe I could get it, but on my front lawn in the place that he stands every night while I sleep? That's just beyond the point of oogie. God if Dawn had found that…well she would probably be thrilled but that's beside the point.

I don't understand why she adores him so much. I mean yeah, he's always protected her and been kind to her, he even took care of her after I…well after I went away for a while. But he's a _monster_! He's not like Angel, it's not like he has a soul, he's just a thing! A disgusting _soulless_ thing, how does she not see that? Sure he can be charming at times, and he acts as if he cares about her, but he can't have actual emotions.

When Angel was Angelus, he was terrible. He would torture and kill, he hurt Giles. Hell he even tried to end the world. Add a soul into that equation though and he's sweet and kind. A loving, tortured soul but a soul none the less. Xander never liked the guy, and maybe his instincts were right but Angel was a good guy when he had a soul. Not Spike though, not at all.

I still remember the first time we teamed up though. It was kind of a pivotal point in our…friendship I guess. I mean I could call him my friend, he's helped me out, was always nice to my family and such. Mom always loved him, even after she knew what he was. I mean they met when he was trying to _kill_ me and she still liked him. When Angelus tried to wake Acathala to end everything, Spike was the one that sought out to help me. Not only did he not want the world to end, but he bargained so that he could keep Drusilla safe, because he loved her. No, that's silly, he could never love. Even though Drusilla said that vampires can love…it's just impossible.

The first time I told Spike that I hated him though, he didn't say it back. No, no he said that he was all I had. Could that have been true? Could it still be true now? Snap out of it Buffy, so what if he didn't try to beat you up that night? People that seem to care never really do, especially vampires. If I've learned one thing from being the slayer, that's it. Spikes very peculiar though, he always has been. Maybe that's what bothers me so much about him. It's like he straddles the line between good and bad…no, no he's just bad. He's "the big bad," at least that's what I call him when he does that thing with his fingers… dammit Buffy stop thinking like that.

The thing about Spike is that he's evil. He's evil, but at the same time he's the only thing that keeps me sane. Even though he's bad, he does sweet things like write me notes about how he feels about me. _But he doesn't feel_! I guess he was the one that mourned me the most after I jumped into the portal to save Dawn, at least that's what everyone said. That doesn't mean that he has emotions; it just means he lost his object of obsession…right? That had to be it. Because if it meant anything else, then that would mean my being with him meant something more too…

It couldn't though. He and I being together doesn't mean anything. My feelings for him don't mean anything. They're just a superficial side effect of having someone to make love with. No, wait no it's not making love! It's just sex; it's just something I have to do so that I can feel something. Oh boy, does he make me feel. But that's the extent of it, it has to be, right? Because Spike, he could never reciprocate feelings, especially the ones that I have for him. No, the closest thing that I can get to making him have feelings for me are the explicit acts I get him to perform. In fact, I'm feeling a bit puckish myself right about now. In the sense that I would really love some attention from him right about now. He and his perfect body, and that voice that melts me every time I hear it. First things first though. I have to punish him.

What he did was irresponsible and reckless! I mean god, the note was sweet but I live with Willow and Dawn! While I've established that Dawn would be giddy, Willow would have a fit. A full on, big bad witch fit. I can't have that, nor can I deal with it! God he almost exposed me...us. He almost exposed us, our big secretory secret! For that he needs to pay. A good visit from Mr. Pointy ought to do the trick. Oh, Kendra, she was one of the good one. If it wasn't for Drusilla…_if it wasn't for Spike,_ she would be alive. I wouldn't have inherited her favorite stake. It's just one more reason to punish him, to hurt him.

Where is that old thing anyways? It's not under my bed…oh! The weapons chest, that must be it. Hello there Mr. Pointy, how have you been? Have you missed dear old Spikey? I bet you have, he's missed you to. Thank god the cemetery is only a bit down the street, I don't feel like walking far today, especially when I'm in this mood. God I can't believe that overly bleached moron! Stupid, careless, vampire. Alright Buffy, big entrance, big kicking and violent entrance…

"Woah there pet, better be careful. The sunlight can be a real beastie when it comes to my kind."

Really? He's really going to complain about sunlight at a time like this? When he puts that stupid note on my lawn and then just…no he's ridiculous. Throwing this dumb scrap of paper in his face wouldn't even begin to send a message. Actually, it's not a terrible idea.

"What the hell is this Spike?"

"Ah, I see you got my note. What do you think, luv?"

This can't be happening. Does he actually think that he did something right? Oh no you don't Spike. How do you like that taste of my fists then huh? I bet being pressed into with a steak at your heart isn't much fun either. Mr. Pointy has missed you.

"What do you think would have happened if Dawn or Willow had found that? If I didn't know about your sick obsession and that gaudy pile of left over cigarettes that I clean up every day? Just one more mess of yours I have to deal with." Great Buffy, get going with the sexual innuendos. They do seem to be having an effect though; no, now is not the time to be thinking about sex with Spike. Regardless of the obviously growing erection of his that's pressed up against my thigh. No distractions…no leaning up closer to his neck and lack of breath control…dammit. Great, I dropped the stake. The last thing I need to is lose my leverage over him.

"No intentions to kill me then, eh?"

Am I mistaken or did he just have to catch his breath? No, he definitely just did that…someone's getting awfully hot and bothered. Well aside from me, of course. How can I purposely help but to…

"Not exactly kill you, more like mercilessly torture you." There she goes, game set and match! Get down with your bad self, Buffy! I feel like sending him a bit over the edge. A little touchy feely of his manhood should do the trick. Oh, there's the reaction I was looking for.

"Now now pet, let's not get ahead of ourselves."

No buddy, you're not getting out of this one. Spike, Spike, Spike do you really think that I don't know every inch of your body? Every fantasy and desire of yours? Like how sensitive the skin on your neck is?

"From what I can tell you're not at all opposed to this. What, did you think that your little letter would go unnoticed? That I wouldn't act on the way you make me feel?" His chest is so smooth…the cool and chiseled skin is just perfect. I have to ignore the dripping I feel in between my thighs, this about torture Buffy, focus. Make him squirm.

"Buffy."

There we go, say my name. Beg for me, yearn for my touch. You won't get it in the end. The soft kisses and bites on your neck, they won't last.

"What do you want Spike?" I don't know why I'm bothering to ask, I know what you want. I know that you only get this hard for me. It's a gift of mine.

"I want you, pet. Always you."

That's enough talk, talking time is over. I need to kiss him; I need to have his taste on my lips so that I can have the courage to leave here. Regardless of how much I want to feel him inside me, to be in his position, pressed up against the cold crypt wall. I just want to make him feel. I have to torture him just a little. Break away Buffy, back off. If I don't leave now I'll never be able to. I have to tear myself away.

"Next time you feel like making a gesture, make it a bit less public. We may or may not continue this later." Scratch that, we have to continue this later. I don't know how much longer I can take the torture of not being with him.

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AN: Ah, looks like Buffy has a bit of a mean streak herself. I took a different approach with this chapter, it's very first person. Let me know what you think!


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